February 2012
20 posts
ruthakers replied to your post: Shit happens
YOU CAN USE MY TRICK. NOBODY STEALS TWEETS THAT AREN’T FUNNY.
Hush, you! I think I was following you for over a year, all the while thinking, “I love her! WHY DOESN”T SHE LIKE ME?! WHY WON’T SHE FOLLOW ME BACK?!!” (ha ha ha)
Shit happens
I don’t like to make a big deal out of people stealing tweets. It’s annoying and frustrating when it happens. I have a low opinion of people who do it, but I have little interest in going after people when it happens.
Yes, my tweets get stolen from time to time. More often than I even bother to pay attention to. I usually laugh it off. I’m flattered by it. It’s usually by...
The trouble with changing your Twitter handle...
One of my real life friends is a porn producer here in L.A. And it’s not exactly mild porn that he produces. Specifically, it’s pretty hardcore gay fetish porn.
He recently changed his Twitter name. His former Twitter name was then taken by someone else. This new person’s profile is “Hello my name is ****** I am crazy in love with Jesus!”
Oh, this guy is in for some...
thrylling nonsense!: WILL PHILLIPS: ALPHA MALE →
thethryll:
I want to share with you people something that happened tonight. I have no reason to share this with you, especially on a night where you’re all probably fucking each other blindly, and you’re just REVELING in that. But whatever, you deserve it. But this fucking happened:
It’s my birthday. Okay?…
This, my friends, is what happens when you mix whiskey and ginger ale. I’m...
2 tags
Although I didn't get to attend SnarkNYC...
I can say from experience that one of the funniest parts of a Tweetup is recognizing someone who unfollowed you and watching how quickly they offer to buy you a drink as soon as you’re introduced to them.
6 tags
SnarkNYC
I’ve been looking at the pictures from SnarkNYC, and from what I’ve seen, @georgecocksman is wearing a shirt in all of them.
I call bullshit.
Fuck you, Tumblr...
I’m not installing Missing-E. I’ve read your dialog box. Several times.
I clicked “I Understand,” EVERY FUCKING TIME!
Guess what?
I STILL UNDERSTAND.
Jonas Polsky: "Star" Wars →
jonaspolsky:
by Jonas Polsky
I’m not that popular on Twitter. I know that, and that’s fine. That being said, if I get 9+ stars for a tweet, it’s a big deal. I’m not a personality, I don’t share anything about my life. I’m in it purely to get laughs. Each star represents a laugh. If I post a tweet that…
I agree that the feedback Favstar supplies has been an addictive and invaluable...
R.I.P. Okay?
I happen to enjoy gallows humor. Sure, it can be cheap and distasteful, but I find it helps relieve the tension and uneasiness we all feel about our own mortality when tragedy strikes.
I made 9/11 jokes on 9/11. I told jokes in the hospital the day my mom passed. So yes, I happen to believe it’s fair game to make jokes when a beloved celebrity dies.
I will, however, refrain from saying...
I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
Last night I tweeted this:
“Sex is like pizza. There’s no good pizza in Los Angeles.”
I got about a dozen replies telling me where to find good pizza.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Twitter is useless.
Text from Last Night... Twitter Edition
The benefit of giving your phone number to Twitter friends comes from the random text messages you get from some of these people. I’ll let you place your guesses in the comments as to who this one is from, but I awoke to this gem that was sent at midnight the night before:
“Hey, what does top and bottom mean?”
I keep forgetting I have a Tumblr
That is all.
January 2012
18 posts
True Story... (part 2)
…So I found myself at this open mic, sitting quietly awaiting my turn. I continued listening to these people I didn’t know talk about twitter and stars and retweets. “FUCK!” I thought to myself. “Keep your mouth shut. These things are meaningless” I continued telling myself.
I continued listening to someone talk about the stars they got and finally had to...
True Story...
So I found myself at an open mic this week. It was my very first open mic. Holy fuck. I’m totally doing comedy ass-backwards, aren’t I?!
So I’m sitting there sipping slowly from my over-priced coffee surrounded by people who have been plugging away at the scene for years, just listening to their stories and taking all of it in.
I’m thinking to myself, “I’m...
fishfacemcgee replied to your photo: You should come. There’ll probably be dry humping…
Who knew that SbelleLauren was SO FUCKING HOT….. :) Haha
She’s a total hottie. She gives me a lady boner. I’d cheat on my other lesbian lover, Amber Tozer, with her, but don’t tell Amber I said that.
Kudos to Todd Glass
As someone who has been enjoying the podcasts of both Todd Glass and Marc Maron, I was not expecting the revelation on today’s WTF Podcast. Wow. Fantastic episode.
Multiple people have told me I have a Twitter...
Fuck you guys. We look nothing alike.
(Okay, this picture creeps me out a little bit. Who is this guy?!)
Vote for my dear friend, Darci Monet!
Hey everyone! My long hiatus from Twitter is over, and I’ve returned to be obnoxious. My dear friend, Darci Monet is nominated for two All Indie Music Awards. I’d love it if you’d vote for her. She deserves it since she’s talented as fuck.
Don’t take my word for it. Watch her music video here.
She’s nominated for Best Rock Artist.
She’s also nominated...
December 2011
11 posts
1 tag
mattsaintmatt asked: That Summer's Eve/Steve tweet is gold. Gold!
Twitter Apps for Android?
Hey guys… I finally broke down and bought a semi-somewhat-almost-decent phone. Nothing fancy. It’s the lowest end Droid phone on the market. I discovered its built-in Twitter app, Peep, was hardly much better than the shit I had on my old phone (You can read tweets, but can’t star them, retweet them, or reply to them from what I can see). I tried logging onto Twitter through the...
I just cracked up remembering this...
It’s a shame this was never shared, cos I laughed when it happened and I’m laughing again thinking about it.
Never leave your comedy notes unattended around @robfee. That was learned the hard way when @AmberTozer stepped away and he wrote in, “I love to fuck sheep.”
1 tag
hemigrrrl asked: That YouTube of the BadAss New Yorker was the best! It sounds just like when my gay friend and I go, well, *anywhere*. I hope your friend does more. If he lives out here on the east coast, doing one of the Fairfield County suburban shopper (especially now during the holidays) has a ton of potential. Or one on WalMart shoppers. Anyway, thank him for me, because it made my day. <3 Hemi
November 2011
86 posts
friends, lies and alcohol
I’ve mentioned once before on here that I’d nearly lost a friend to alcohol abuse. He was once my very best friend and also my roommate. I watched as he continued to spiral further and further out of control. It was one of the most painful experienced I’d ever endure.
I watched as he drank himself into the hospital, not once, not twice, but three times. First time was after...